My creatures are called teenagers who somehow manage to combine the emotional maturity of a teaspoon with the fashion sense of a toddler. As a mom with a 16-year-old daughter, Elana, and a 13-year-old son, Caleb, I consider myself a kinda seasoned explorer in these uncharted territories of challenges faced by teenagers. So, grab your metaphorical pith helmet and shield, because we’re soldering on!
At Home: The Great Balancing Act
My home is always some form of war zone of GenZ problems, either my drama princess is in fine moody form or my son debates the wisdom of showers and making his bed. It’s like living with a particularly opinionated Ewok and a moody Chewbacca.
Communication, that elusive unicorn, is as rare as a clean room. One minute Elana’s showering me with details about her latest crush, the next she withdraws behind slammed doors and mumbled protests about me being in her space. Caleb, on the other hand, has perfected the art of the monosyllabic grunt, occasionally punctuated by the excited rambles of the facts his learnt about either space or his latest gaming exploits.
The School Struggles
Then there’s the school war zone. Elana wrestles with the pressure of school, future job anxiety for teens and daydreaming about boys. Also, her backpack is a black hole that swallows school books, only to mysteriously cough them up days before a test. Picture Indiana Jones frantically searching for the lost Ark, only the Ark is unprepared for the Maths test and the penalty is a failing grade, not a horde of angry Nazis.
Caleb is convinced every teacher hates him and is it out for him personally, he is the type of child that will start a debate on the Pythagorean Theorem being a conspiracy by the Illuminati. Also, his approach to homework is with the enthusiasm of a sloth attempting to climb Mount Everest. One minute he’s staring intently at his school books and bouncing with the energy of a puppy, the next he’s lost in his own world fighting Roblox dragons with his mind.
The Never-ending Quest for Independence
Teenagers crave independence like a vampire craves O-negative. Here’s the thing, they want to make their own decisions (usually terrible ones) but still assume you will magically appear to fix everything. It is a tricky balance of giving them the choice to be but also being their safety net or providing a controlled environment where regardless of their choice, the outcome won’t hurt too much.
Look, it isn’t all bad. Elana’s laughter, when it graces us with its presence, can light up a room faster than a thousand fairy lights. Caleb, when he’s not resembling a growling tiger, can be so sweet and kind.It’s just that these rare moments are sometimes lost or overshadowed by the ever-present fog of hormones, dramatic sighs, and eye rolls but gosh being a parent is an incredible thing.
I get a front-row seat to their lives, their growth, and their character-building moments. I get to experience it all and good or bad, I will treasure them all. As a parent who has lost a child at the ripe age of 16, trust me, I know a thing or two about appreciating every moment.
Navigating the challenges faced by teenagers
As a mom, I witness the beautiful metamorphosis {1} – my once carefree children blossoming into young adults. But puberty, for all its wonder, can be a wild rollercoaster ride. My own house, with my teenagers, is a constant whirlwind of emotions and existential questions. So, for all the fellow moms out there in the trenches of dealing with the challenges faced by teenagers, here’s a glimpse into teenage problems and solutions to help guide them through this crucial time.
Teenage problems list:
Body Image and Self-Esteem
- Feeling insecure about their physical appearance
- Body dysmorphia {2}
- Comparing themselves to how the media and society portray beauty
Social and Emotional Issues
- Peer pressure
- Social anxiety or difficulty making or keeping friends
- Struggle to navigate friendships and romantic relationships
- Feeling like they don’t fit in
- Bullying (online or in person)
- Loneliness or isolation
- Identity crisis (questioning who they are and what they value)
Academic Pressures
- Stress from exams and anxiety for their future
- Feeling pressure to succeed
- Difficulty managing workload and time
- Academic competition
- Fear of failure
Mental Health Concerns
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Eating disorders
- Self-harm
- Suicidal ideation
Substance Abuse
- Experimentation either with drugs or alcohol
- Addiction
Family Issues
- Trouble communicating with parents
- Feeling misunderstood by parents
- Parental conflict or divorce
- Family financial stress or strain
- Living in a dysfunctional or abusive household
Additional Challenges faced by teenagers
- Sexual orientation and gender identity exploration can be confusing and lead to social isolation or anxiety for some teens.
- Social media addiction can negatively impact mental health and self-esteem, which is one of the major problems as a teenager.
- Cyberbullying can be even more inescapable than traditional bullying.
Practical Solutions for Teenage Problems
Body Image and Self-Esteem:
Promote Body Positivity: I try to help my kids focus on health and well-being, not weight or appearance. It’s tricky but try to encourage activities they enjoy and commend their physical capabilities.
Healthy Media Exposure: Be mindful of the media your teen consumes. I find it important, especially for teen girls, to discuss the unrealistic beauty standards set by the world and encourage finding beauty in differences or imperfections.
Encourage Healthy Habits: I try to encourage eating in moderation and making healthy choices. I encourage regular exercise and practice it personally. Getting good sleep is highly encouraged in my house as well because I know that feeling good physically can boost self-esteem.
Positive Reinforcement: Don’t be shy with compliments on your teen’s personality, talents, and achievements but be sincere they can spot a fake like nobody’s business lol Just celebrate their inner beauty and unique qualities.
Social and Emotional Challenges:
Open Communication: Create a safe space for your teenagers and problems to be addressed. I let my kids talk about their feelings and concerns without judgment (okay, fine I’m not perfect so there is sometimes judgement-I’m working on it). Actively listen and offer support but don’t nag (according to my kids I make everything a life lesson- so ya working on this too).
Strengthen Social Skills: I encourage participation in stuff like karate and exercising at the gym in truth, it is more of a force at first but they’ve learned to not hate it. This helps build social connections and develop communication skills which is why it is important time spent off their cell phones.
Anti-Bullying Resources: Educate your teen about bullying or better yet equip them (just in case) with self-defense tricks if you can, this is the main reason we got our kids in karate. Even provide resources like helplines or teachers they can trust.
Navigating Relationships: Offer guidance on building healthy friendships and what is/isn’t ‘friendship’ by helping kids recognize/set boundaries. My daughter had to learn this the hard way but thankfully she righted it herself, recognized toxicity, and managed (at last) to find a good friend.
Embrace Exploration: Challenges faced by teenagers become more manageable when you allow your teen to explore different interests and identities. This is fundamental in the growth process; this helps them discover who they are and what they value.
Academic Pressures:
Time Management Skills: Help your teen develop time management skills, trust me, this one is hard to implement, especially for my 16-year-old. Try to create schedules, prioritize tasks, and set realistic goals together even though most times it is a hit-and-miss.
Tutoring and Support: Don’t be afraid to seek academic help for your teens if needed. If they say they can’t cope then give them the benefit of the doubt and explore tutoring options or connect with teachers for additional support.
Career Exploration: Help your teen explore different career paths and educational options. Even though presently my teens have ‘pie in the sky’ ideas of what they want to do, I still choose to discuss their interests and skills to guide them toward a fulfilling future.
Mental Health Concerns:
Mental Health Awareness: we have been through a lot as a family and I have been transparent with my struggles as an adult. We aren’t perfect and I show them that, it’s okay not to be okay. Yes, sometimes I don’t always get it right by being the best example but that is why I say it’s important to talk it out. Educate your teen about mental health issues and the importance of seeking help.
I lead by example with healthy coping mechanisms like exercise, journaling, eating junk food and chocolate maybe having a glass of wine (joking for the last three…kind of).
Normalize Therapy: Break the stigma around therapy or talking about a problem. You must let your teen know that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Promote Stress Management: I suffer a lot from stress so I’ve learned coping mechanisms that I share with my teens like self-care. Take time just for yourself. Something as simple as reading a good, watching a feel-good movie, having a shower, or a favorite snack. Better still getting outdoors for a brisk walk with fresh air and sunshine.
Positive Role Model: Touching more on the previous point, your kids watch YOU. So how you deal will probably be how they deal. As I said before, I’m not perfect I have some dodgy coping mechanisms but my kids make me try harder to do better, for them.
Additional solutions for teenage problems:
Keep Open Communication with Family: Maintaining open communication channels within the family is imperative, let your teenagers be comfortable to talk to you about anything. Yes, sometimes it’s hard to keep the line defined between friend and parent, don’t blend it but try for balance.
Do Regular Digital Detox: Set limits on screen time and encourage breaks from tech, gosh this one causes absolute chaos in my home. This is when you truly see how addicted your kids are to technology, they turn into an angry mob at a Salem witch trial and you’re accused they wish to burn at the stake.
Financial Literacy: We try to discuss money management skills with my teens but they still seem to think money grows on trees. So, yes we give allowance and opportunities to earn with certain chores, but the message seems to be lost in translation. Hence this one is still a work in progress in our home. I try involving my teen in basic financial decisions to foster responsibility so we will see how that goes.
Challenges faced by teens: wrap up
Don’t be afraid to ask for support from other parents, educators, or mental health professionals, and remember there are resources available to help you understand the challenges faced by teenagers. So, to my fellow parents out there navigating and helping teens finding a healthy balance between school and social media, I lift my glass (of wine, of course) to you. We may be outnumbered, out-argued, and occasionally out-styled, but we’re in this together.
Hey, if all else crashes and burns, there’s always chocolate and a good Netflix binge. Now, excuse me, I have a ‘date’ with a teenager who insists their room is “not technically dirty.” Wish me luck.
Charlie
Charlene is a published author/writer who has embarked on a personal journey, with the hope of providing guidance, support and advice to all who may need it.