Intimacy. It’s what we all crave, whether we admit it or not. And yet, for so many, it remains just out of reach. What is intimacy? How do we attain it? Why does it seem to slip through our fingers like sand through an hourglass?
Let’s explore these questions together in this series on navigating intimacy in a relationship. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, there’s something here for you. So let’s dive in, shall we?
Intimacy in marriage
We’ve all had that moment in a relationship where you suddenly feel like you’re two ships passing in the night. You used to be so close, but now it feels like you’re miles apart. Maybe it is literal but most times it is more figurative distance that is at play.
It is possibly because you’re both busy with work or other commitments or maybe it’s because of something that happened between you that left one or both of you feeling hurt or disappointed. Whatever the reason, when intimacy [1] starts to fade in a relationship, it can be hard to recover.
But just because things have cooled off doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed (although it is easy to feel like it is). You would be surprised to know that many couples go through marital problems with periods of reduced intimacy and come out the other side stronger than ever.
The fact is it’s all about figuring out what works for both of you and being honest about your needs.
Here are some tips for navigating intimacy in a relationship:
- Talk about what’s going on – If you’re feeling disconnected from your partner/spouse, talk to them about it. Find out why they think things have changed and see if there’s anything that can be done to improve communication and connection.
- Be affectionate – Physical touch is an important part of intimacy, so make sure to keep up your cuddles, kisses, and sex life even when things are tough. Small gestures like touching their arm or holding hands can also help create closeness between you.
- Make time for each other – Intimacy requires quality time together without the distractions of phones or television (even the kids). Set aside some time each week (or even each day) to focus on each other without any interruptions. This is especially important if one or both of you are dealing with stress at work or home.
- Be open and honest – When something is bothering you, say so! Like in-law problems to name but a few. Don’t bottle up your emotions because this will only lead to further disconnection down the road. Also don’t forget, appreciate the little things your partner does, we all need and want affirmation sometimes.
- laugh together – Laughter really is the best medicine, so try to find humor in everyday situations (even when things get rough). Couples who laugh together stay together! This is really is an often under-estimated tip in navigating intimacy in a relationship.
Why is intimacy important in a relationship?
Intimacy is the glue that holds a relationship together. Sure, there’s love and other wonderful things, but when it comes to any committed relationship, intimacy plays a vital role. It’s an opportunity for two people to share special moments, understanding each other on a deeper level.
From physical closeness to sharing in life’s joys and challenges – spending time together is what helps a relationship grow stronger over time! Without it, relationships can quickly become stagnant or fall apart – so don’t underestimate its importance!
What are some common obstacles to intimacy in a relationship?
Intimacy in a relationship can be complicated, as many of us are aware. Unfortunately, there are a few common obstacles that tend to get in the way of our most private moments. One of these is lack of communication(as mentioned above) – failing to communicate openly and honestly can make these moments seem unachievable.
Fear, too, can be an issue, this self-doubt can hold us back from letting go and really opening up to our partners. Unresolved issues, such as emotional trauma or poor conflict resolution skills, can also interfere with relationships.
You can’t be broken and be in a healthy relationship because that will filter in. Think on this; one rotten apple can spoil the batch. Meaning? Your problems will seep into your relationship and turn it toxic.
The good news? All of these obstacles can be worked through/dealt with effort and understanding, ONLY if you are willing. Willing to be vulnerable, willing to be honest to yourself and your significant other. Vulnerability is a necassary ‘evil’ when navigating intimacy in a relationship.
How can you overcome these obstacles and foster more intimacy in your relationship?
Yes developing a deeper sense of intimacy with your partner can be an ongoing and sometimes challenging experience as we have already discussed. To help overcome some common obstacles, it is essential to work on you and to create an environment that is conducive to open communication.
Establish shared activities, such as taking walks together or having a regular date nights, this may also aid in the process of fostering more ‘ togetherness’ in your relationship.
Additionally, prioritize quality time by unplugging distractions such as social media (any tech) and focusing on being present. Engage with one another and be patient. After slowly implementing these changes, you will start to see a shift towards more meaningful conversations (and possibly more sex 😉
Tips for creating more intimate moments with your partner
Intimacy is a fragile thing within relationships, and it can be tough to create moments that are significant for both partners. Another great tip to navigating intimacy in a relationship is to think of some activities you can do together that allow both of you to switch off from the world.
Exploring a new spot in town or laughing uncontrollably while playing board games might just give you both the boost of closeness you’re looking for. The key here is not worrying too much about what the other person wants, but instead focusing on inclusive activities that will make your relationship stronger.
Don’t forget – romance doesn’t have to be expensive or fancy, it’s found in relaxed moments shared between two people who care deeply for each other.
Conclusion
If you’re in a relationship, or looking to be in one, understanding/navigating intimacy in a relationship as well as how your partner experiences intimacy can help create a deeper connection and level of trust.
By being honest about your needs and desires, as well as remaining open minded to new possibilities, you can foster a healthy and intimate relationship with your partner. Trust is an essential component of any successful relationship – without it, intimacy cannot flourish. So start communicating today and see where it takes you!
Charlie
Charlene is a published author/writer who has embarked on a personal journey, with the hope of providing guidance, support and advice to all who may need it.
Hi Charlz
Article very true to its topic and inspiring as well. This has affected me and my marriage, intimacy has been a real problem in my marriage for a long time, even before hubby got sick (lack of being able to get it up). I’ts been a long time and sometimes I do feel that I need that from him, but his illness has caused so much more stress on him as a person, that I do not want to breach this subject or even try and start an interaction towards this. I do miss this within our relationship but its something that I cant force and don’t want to as well. I am a bit insecure about how I look as well with all the weight that I have put on. Something that has come about with all the stress that I am going through – some people eat less when they stress, with me its the opposite, I eat when I stress 🙁 Also his mental illness has really been tough, and it just seems that things are not getting better at all. For those that really can work this out within their relationships, your advice and guidance is on point.
Hi Yolanda
Im sorry you are hurting and struggling. Yes, this is a tough one in a marraige and insecurity is usually a very present factor to deal with as a woman. I too am an emotional eater, I manage through sheer will presently but there was a time when I didnt. While I dont have this exact issue in my marraige, I do however can relate to some of it and the trick is to keep pushing forward. Be willing to talk it out because the silence can be deafening and it will put you on the slow path to no where.
Good luck!
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