Family exchanging thoughtful gifts during a special celebration.
The thought of buying gifts for people used to have me breaking out in cold sweats. I kid you not, hey, I am one of those people who would buy a toy motorbike for a baby and a steering wheel cover as a retirement gift.
The look on the faces of the people I have given gifts to was priceless for all the wrong reasons; it ranged between horror and pain. After one too many failed attempts, I had to own up to the fact that I sucked at choosing gifts.
One day I had an epiphany of sorts. I realised that not everyone was like me. I do love receiving gifts, but I am a mom, so my expectations are already low…when my 8-year-old son gives me a tiny orange flower twisted around a white stone and says “mommy I love you”, you bet your grey hairs I will be treasuring THAT till the day I die (or until the flower rots and the stone crumbles).
I am and have always been a believer in the saying “it is the thought that counts”. I am sentimental like that; however, I also had to realise that many people sort of base their worth on the gift you buy them (cue my panic attack).
Now I am thinking, not only am I a bad gift giver, but those people were also offended by my choices (I have failed this city). I love making people happy, so this new knowledge had me turning green and did not sit well with me.
I explored this knowledge further using my husband of almost 23 years as my test subject and started noticing that he has a specific taste that was not easily sated. For him, it was a case of getting him what he wanted or nothing at all. I noticed something else too… He was good at buying gifts!
An example: I love taking pics, and as a gift he bought me a new camera set that I had been salivating over for months; I literally cried. He is good at this gift-giving thing; he seemed to have broken the code, and I HAD to know the secret.
Me: “Babe, how do you always seem to know what I want?”
Him: ” Because I know you.”
Me: #blankstare#
Him: “Charlene” #deepsighofimpatience (he does this A LOT when I am around, no idea why) “I just pay attention.”
The code…broken down into four little words…BOOM (mind blown)!
So that is what we must do… become a spy. We need stealth-like moves to study and research our targets (aka gift recipients). You need to covertly watch them, using kick-@$$ moves to leap in and out of the line of their sight at any given moment.
A cape would help, just saying. It boiled down to one thing…what are our targets’ objectives? How do we achieve the endgame? Undercover work could get you arrested for breaking and entering, OR you could get lawsuits for property damage as you leap tall buildings.
Well, I have learnt from a gift master, and we will give you ideas for every age to help you break the gift game wide open. Your assignment (should you choose to accept it) is to find the perfect gift without causing awkward fake smiles, forced hugs, or that dreaded sentence…
“Oh…you shouldn’t have…” (Translation: “Why on earth would you buy me this?”)
Spy Tip #1: If they stop in front of something twice while shopping…that’s not window shopping. That’s a clue.
Spy Tip #2: When someone says, “Don’t buy me anything,” translate it to, “Please surprise me with something thoughtful.”
Spy Tip #3: Take screenshots when people send you links. Future You is forgetful. (Current Me definitely is.)
Spy Tip #4: If all else fails…food is rarely rejected. Unless it’s fruitcake. Then you’re on your own.
Now, before you panic and think this means becoming a full-time private investigator… relax. You don’t need binoculars hiding behind the garden hedge while your aunt waters her roses. People tell you what they like all the time—we’re just usually too busy thinking about what we’re making for supper to notice.
Congratulations. You’ve just been handed your shopping list.
Kids are wonderfully easy…until they’re not. One week dinosaurs are life itself, and two weeks later they’re apparently into rocks now. Then they love, love, love pink and Barbies, then the next week its blue and all things Frozen. Instead of buying the biggest or most expensive toy, think about what keeps them busy.
The memories often outlast the toys.
Buying gifts for teens, or just pre-teens, is a minefield! I have a turning 19-year-old daughter and a 15-year-old son, so I have been, and I still am, in this battle. The live wire moods versus the know-it-all attitude mixed in with that smart-@$$ mouth…
I whooosaaaaa a LOT with them. So, I get you, I understand you… The struggle is real, my friend. They are at THAT age where they are a hot mess of wanting to be big but also being mommies’ babies. So, when you’re up against the wall, trying to please a little ‘rebel’ princess or prince, you cannot afford to take the wrong step if you step on a landmine; her tears will destroy YOU, or his tear-sheened, veiled eyes will make YOU feel wretched.
But have no fear though… I got you. All you need do is open your eyes and take note of her/his taste as well as style so you can choose something that will make them smile because when they do smile(however rare hehe) the world seems brighter somehow.
Consider things like:
Sometimes giving them the freedom to choose is the greatest gift of all.
Gifts for adults
Adults are funny, aka we are funny. We’ll spend months saying we don’t need anything… while secretly adding seventeen items to our online wishlist. Best thing to do is think practical with a little luxury. Maybe it’s something that makes everyday life easier, more comfortable or simply brings them joy.
Especially men…a life form that requires plenty of fresh air and constant supervision lest they suffocate themselves with their farts or lose themselves like they lose their keys (well, that could just be my husband LOL My hubby: he is the mac to my cheese and the ice-cream to my chocolate sauce:)
Ideas include:
Remember—it doesn’t have to cost a fortune to feel thoughtful.
Grandparents usually have enough “stuff”, I kid you not, there is a drawer or garage with all types of shenanigans or paraphernalia of every kind. What they treasure most is family, and that means gifts with memories attached.
Think:
Time is often the greatest gift you can give.
We all know one or three. You ask them what they want, and they reply… “Oh, I don’t need anything.” Helpful, so helpful, thanks. Or what about the people who seem to have every gadget and thingy-me-bob? Every time you see them, they have the latest everything and are not just adulting but adult pros 2.0 who always have their Sh&* together. For these wonderful humans, think experiences rather than possessions.
Experiences rarely gather dust.
Some people deserve gifts that speak louder than words. Whether you’re buying for someone living with a disability, an elderly loved one, someone battling illness, or a caregiver who constantly puts everyone else first, gift with intention. The most meaningful gifts are often those that make life easier or simply remind them that they matter.
Sometimes the greatest gift is making someone feel seen.
When you’re completely stuck… here’s an emergency gift checklist. Ask yourself:
If you can answer even one of those questions… You’re already buying a better gift than steering wheel covers for retirees (You’re welcome).
Gift giving isn’t about impressing people. It’s about paying attention. It says,
“I see you.”
“I know what matters to you.”
“You were worth the effort.”
THAT’s what makes a gift memorable, its NOT the price tag. And if all else fails… bake cookies (or buy cookies then wrap them prettily) because nobody has ever cried over free cookies.
There you have it my friends; all you need do now is “pay attention” to your target (gift recipient) so you know the assignment. Once you accept the mission, then and only then will you know what you know that you know. Unfortunately, no one can be told what a great gift is… You must see it for yourself (See what I did there, yes, I am also a matrix fan hehe) Free your mind…Happy gifting!
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